So how many times have the younger moms heard from the older moms, “enjoy every minute while they’re young, they grow up so fast!” Hundreds of items, right? And it’s great advice. In fact, one of my goals for this year is to keep learning how to embrace this season instead of wishing it away. I try to enjoy this season, and so often I do.
But then, this morning happened.
Actually, let’s back up. It started last night (Sunday night).
Silas didn’t go to bed for the night until 12:30 am. (Advice?! Anyone??) I take a shower (finally) and Micah and I go to bed. But I can’t sleep. I can’t turn my brain off. This happens pretty frequently.
At 1:45 am, I still haven’t fallen asleep and Silas decides to wake up and take another bottle (he doesn’t eat much during the day and gets super hungry at night…again, advice?!). After his bottle I can’t put him back to sleep. I’m just sitting there in bed with him, he’s crying off and on, and I’m thinking “I hate this. I hate the night time. I just want sleep, and rest, and I want a baby that sleeps!” Silas is such a mystery sometimes. He has no rhythms, he changes daily. He gets mad at the smallest things and I am baffled at how to help him most of the time. Bless it.
Micah took him again (by now it’s like 2:30 and Micah has to get up early.) And of course, Silas goes to sleep for him. But during the night, Silas wakes up every hour or so just to cry, moan, and need his paci back in his mouth. So that’s how often I woke up too.
Oh, and I had my alarm set for 6:30. I always set it, because I think if the night goes well and I get lots of sleep (which does happen every once in a while!) I’ll feel rested enough to get up and have my quiet time. Well, somewhere during the night I turned it off because I haven’t slept and there’s NO way I’m getting up early! Most nights (um, mornings) my best sleep is somewhere between 5 am to 8 am. So, I felt that I needed that this morning.
Silas wakes me up this morning, much later than I wanted to get up, and I hear him pooping. Uh-oh. Nine times out of ten, his poop goes everywhere. I go to pick him up, he’s perfectly happy, but he has soaked his pajamas and blanket in poop. GREAT start to my morning. I take him straight to the bath and wash him off, throwing the pajamas out with the diaper.
After his bath, I put all of his blankets in the wash and put him in his walker in the kitchen so I can get the other two their cereal. Oh, wait. There’s no clean bowls. I wash some bowls. I have to move the huge, empty pizza box off of the kitchen table for the kids to have enough room to eat.
After they had their cereal, I bring Silas to the living room to have a bottle. He takes two sips and decides he’s mad about something (who knows what) and won’t take anymore. After trying on and off through the next hour, I finally get him to take only 4.5 oz.
I told the kids to bring me their Bible. I am not letting this morning get the best of us! So we read stories about Jesus and I pray over them and our morning is somewhat salvaged.
I finally have time to make some coffee. I change another poopy diaper, clean the living room with one hand and Silas on my hip while I waited for his blankets in the dryer because he was so tired and needed to go down for his morning nap. I rock him to sleep while I’m drinking my coffee. He’s finally out, so I lay him down and guess what? He wakes right up! Forget it, I leave him in there to go back to sleep. I managed to do the dishes and drink some more coffee while I waited and listened for him to fall asleep. And he does go to sleep more easily than I thought he would. Thank goodness. And now to fold the laundry…
Have I made your life look really good right about now? Maybe you just feel relieved because your life is crazy too. Or maybe my morning looks pretty good compared to yours.
I don’t know. I find myself wishing for a different season on days like today. It’s hard to embrace this season when you’re sleep-deprived and simply hanging on by a thread. Days like today are not rare. In fact, most days look like this. I’ve told Micah before, “I can’t keep doing this with no sleep. I can’t.” But I do. Most of the time these days are so hard because I tend to lose sight of Who’s helping me. He didn’t put me in this Mom Life and leave me here on my own.
And you know what? This day had it’s beauty. My kids played together like the best friends they’ve become, they prayed for each other to learn to obey Mommy and Daddy, and Audrey read her first book! This season, it’s precious. There will always be dirty, messy parts of every season. I will get more sleep one day. I will make it through a week without crying. I won’t always have to clean poop!
I’d love it if you joined me this year in my goal: to learn to live and be present in this season. Let’s be thankful and intentional. Let’s choose JOY in this calling as Mom. Because we are seen, we are known, we are loved.